#117 - Transformative Parenting Part 1: The Missing Piece — Why Attachment Is Everything With Todd Sarner

In this first part of my conversation with Todd Sarner, MFT, we dive into what it really means to be a calm and connected parent in a world full of distractions... technology... and overwhelm. Todd shares his journey from helping children directly to realizing that the most powerful way to support them is by helping parents strengthen attachment... the glue that makes every other parenting strategy work. We talk about why connection always comes before correction... what it means to stay in the “alpha” or leadership position as a parent... and how the simple act of getting in your child’s face in a friendly way can change everything. Todd also unpacks how attachment provides the foundation for all healthy development... how behavior-based parenting often backfires... and how secure connection allows children to grow into confident... capable adults.

We explore the challenge of parenting in the digital age and how screens and AI can quietly replace human connection if we’re not intentional. Todd helps us see that technology isn’t evil—it’s just low vulnerability—and that our presence is what helps our kids develop emotional depth and relational intelligence. Along the way, we discuss the difference between managing behavior and nurturing relationship... the importance of mirroring and empathy... and the simple daily habits that make kids feel seen and special.

Learn more about Todd’s work at transformativeparenting.com and find his upcoming book The Calm and Connected Parent (releasing November 18, 2025) here. We also discuss Gordon Neufeld’s Hold On to Your Kids, the Neufeld Institute , and the teachings of Dr. Stan Tatkin’s PACT Institute , Dr. Sue Johnson’s ICEEFT, and Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen’s EFT training resources.

Todd also reflects on how his time at the California Institute of Integral Studies  shaped his integrative approach to therapy and shares stories about raising his son in a Waldorf environment through Summerfield Waldorf School and Farm .

You can subscribe to the show on YouTube  to catch part two and future episodes of The Personal Success Podcast.