#118 - Transformative Parenting Part 2: Raising Calm & Connected Kids in a Disconnected World With Todd Sarner

In part two of my conversation with Todd Sarner, MFT, we move from theory into practice...exploring how to bring attachment-centered parenting to life every day. Todd explains the developmental journey of individuation and integration...how children grow from a sense of “we” into healthy independence without losing connection.

We discuss what it means to “collect before you direct,” the simple yet powerful act of reconnecting before giving instruction or correction, and how guilt and repair can become transformative instead of shame-based. Todd offers practical examples for parents of toddlers through teens, emphasizing that presence, empathy, and leadership—not perfection—are what truly shape a child’s sense of safety and belonging.

We also talk about how to name a child’s specialness in ways that stick, how to use mirroring to build emotional security, and how small moments of genuine connection ... a look, a sentence, a hand through the hair ... can leave lifelong imprints of love. Todd shares how individuation shows up differently in twins, siblings, and only children, and how parents can support healthy separation without disconnection. He explains why feeling attached actually allows children to explore, take risks, and return stronger, and how families can create a “village” of extended connection with teachers, mentors, and relatives to reinforce this sense of belonging.

You can explore Todd’s work at transformativeparenting.com  and pre-order The Calm and Connected Parent here . For deeper study, visit the Neufeld Institute , ICEEFT , and the PACT Institute .

Subscribe on YouTube  so you never miss new episodes of The Personal Success Podcast, and share this conversation with a parent who could use a reminder that calm, connection, and compassion always come first.